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Vengeful Douche
Can't imagine why anyone would cheat on such a charming, mellow individual.
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Prince Cuntface
Get over yourself, girl. Princes generally don't look like Sarah Jessica Parker's identical cousin.
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High Douche
Now, girlFREYND, I can see where you'd need LOTS of drugs in order for you to feel adequately cool, but you're better off without them. You're a hot meece.
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Dis-Ease Douche
Oh but what you are missing, my darling, is that you are infected with the worst disease of all: ASSHOLISM.
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